Preziosi Giorni di Yore
by Bloodygrace
Summary: New Moon based. Bella and Charlie's first Christmas together during New Moon. One-shot


**_Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own the Twilight series. If I did, Emmett would most likely be in a padded room with four white walls and a heavy-duty vampire-strengthened straightjacket, but it's all in good fun right? Happy Holidays!_**

Preziosi Giorni di Yore

"_Faithful friends, who are dear to us, gather near to us once more…"_

Charlie was listening to Christmas carols again; the joyful tones of the holiday season drifted through the frozen house in Forks, Washington. I sighed, unable to feel even the slightest lightening of my heart in these black times. Even the holidays, which I had so loved when I spent them with my mother, could not heal my shattered heart with their merriment and family time. I could tell it disappointed Charlie that his efforts to bring a little holiday cheer, despite his own moping about the festivities, did not help me come from my indifferent state. I couldn't feel sorry though, I couldn't feel anything…because I'm lost. All because of…_them_.

I can't help but think of _them_ and what they might be doing now. Did they celebrate Christmas? I couldn't really see any reason for them to; so many years together as a family living in solitude, holidays might seem a little redundant. If things had been different, would I be there? Would they celebrate with me? So many questions, so much pain…it was hard for me to focus on my own life here during the holidays. I hope Charlie wouldn't give me any presents; I was still deliberating on whether or not I should by one for him as there was still one more day left.

With dull brown eyes that had long ago lost their shine, I looked out upon the white wonderland that stretched far beyond my line of vision. I wonder how far _they_ could see. Outside, the ever falling rain had subtly changed to flecks of fluffy snow that drifted peacefully to the ground and coated the overwhelming green in a dazzling white that never ceased. It had to be nearly two feet by now, but I hadn't gone outside to check. School had gone on break only three days ago, since then I had been quietly shut away in my room with no thought for going anywhere else.

"_Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…"_

I flinched minutely, my only visible show of emotion since Charlie had turned on the radio. _**Fire**_. My mind reluctantly returned to the time, nearly a year ago, when _they_ had saved my life. James, a vampire tracker, had picked up my scent during a family game of baseball and had tracked me down to my hometown: Phoenix, Arizona. I had been so frightened, more frightened than I had ever been…but not because my own life was in danger, but because the people closest to me had been: Renee, Charlie, and…_the Cullens_. A sharp spike of pain shot through my heart even as I thought their name and I gave a little cry of anguish. The radio clicked off downstairs and I heard Charlie rushing up the stairs towards me. Evidentially, he had been listening for any sounds from my room.

I kept my back to him as he hurried into the room. I barely listened as he paused, spotting me sitting upon my chair and staring out through my window at the outside world. He approached a little more cautiously now and I soon felt his hand upon my sweatshirt clad shoulder. I didn't acknowledge him at all, but I think he knew I was waiting for him to talk. I could practically hear the words he wanted to say fumbling around in his mind as he tried to come up with a gentle way to talk to me. This wasn't easy for him, I knew, but I did not know another way to _cope_. Charlie was never one for words or feelings, but I was his daughter and I was hurting…I had given up. Strangely, as I thought those words, Charlie began to speak.

"Bells," He began nervously, his gruff voice practically begging me to save him from the awkwardness, "Why don't you come downstairs? A couple people from the station brought us some food," That explains the doorbell I heard earlier, "It smells kind of good, though not as good as your cooking."

There was another uncomfortable pause and I half expected Charlie to walk out. He didn't though.

"It's Christmas Eve, Bells, you should come downstairs…" Charlie trailed off as my body tightened automatically. For some reason, I think Charlie took this as a good sign. Probably because I had reacted to him in some way and he knew that he wasn't just awkwardly talking to no one. There was another moment of silence, though this one stretched on for nearly three minutes.

"I know how you feel Bells." Charlie's spoken words stunned me so much that my head gave a little jerk. A feeling of fury shook my body. How could he know how I feel? The love of my existence had told me I meant nothing to him and by extension his family had agreed with him. He had taken my heart and shattered it until there wasn't any way for it to be pieced back together. I was only seconds away from opening my mouth and screaming at him when Charlie spoke again.

"I know you don't think I do and maybe I don't know the full extent…" Charlie hesitated, but sensed that my body had relaxed somewhat, "But the same thing happened to me when your Mom left, Bells."

I shifted in my seat, intrigued but not surprised. Charlie had never before spoken of what it was like in the months after Renee had left him, taking me with her. Could it be possible that he did know what it was like to lose half of him?

"I was doing the same thing you're doing now. Thinking of what could have been, what was, and what was supposed to be…but nothing changes, Bells. The real world is here and you have to move on. I know it's not easy, but it's for the best. It's for your own good if you just try. If you just try, even a little, there's a really good chance that things will start to get better, Bella, but you have to put effort into it. You can't just sit here and do…nothing…even though I know how much it hurts; it hurts less if you try to move past it, eventually."

The room was silent then except for a strange rasping sound. It took me a few moments to realize that the rasping was my own harsh breathing and the strange feeling on my face was the slow sliding streaks of tears that I thought I had cried out already. How could I have so many tears? You'd think the body would run out after awhile…

I knew what Charlie was saying and I wanted to feel better, I did…but I knew it would be impossible without _Him_. Charlie spoke of moving on and putting effort into it…couldn't he understand that I just couldn't? I didn't have any more strength left; when _He_ left me, _He_ took my strength with him. _He_ was my rock and now my rock was gone and I didn't remember what it was like to not have him: I couldn't do it, I wouldn't do it.

"Just think about it, Bells." Charlie voice was soft and I thought it sounded like he was crying, but I didn't turn around to see. "Maybe make it a New Year resolution; I know how much you used to love making resolutions when you were younger. Maybe it's time to start again…."

"_I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need, I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree, I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know, make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you…."_

_**Buon Natale e un felice anno nuovo**_

_**(Merry Christmas and have a happy New Year)**_

**_A/N;; I know it's been awhile guys and I am sincerely sorry for all the delays, but I am swamped with schoolwork. Demon Child and Broken Tears will be updated soon as I am halfway finished with both chapters, promise. Should have both up by the end of January, maybe. Until then, here is a Twilight-centered Christmas fanfic. Earlier I asked myself what happened for Christmas for Bella and Charlie and so here is a short little one-shot that contains my perspective on what happened. Hope you guys enjoy and hopefully I got all the Italian translations right. I don't speak Italian, but I love the language and hope to learn one day. - Feliz Navidad, Buon Natale, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Years everyone!_**


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